FIRST PEEKAt something to listen to... soon... A very nice preview of yer 'umble leader's monumental third CD, Man Of Hazardium: here!I'm off to Boston and then to texas next week, my babies.Them Kwanza presents ain't gonna buy themselves. Stay tuned, my babies... stay so very, very tuned.
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Lower East Side Stories presents "NYC for the Holidays" Tales of New York during the winter holidays - oy! Lower East Side Tenement Museum
Monday November 24th
6:30pm
108 Orchard Street, just south of Delancey
F Train to Delancey
email: events@tenement.org
phone: 212-982-8420
http://www. tenement. org/vizcenter_events. html F R E E!
DJ HAZARD came to the comedy stage after ten years of commercial art,
theater and rock bands.
A founding member of the infamous Ding Ho Club
(which includes Steven Wright, Paula Poundstone, and Denis Leary), Hazard
went on to tour almost all of North America, achieving near cult status
along the way.
He has just wrapped shooting on The Tourist and Cold
Calls, and he's also the newest cast member on American Misfits on Fuel
TV. His CD's include "El Hazardo Rides Again" and "Man Of Hazardium.
"
http://www. DJHazard. com
MICHELE CARLO hosts and curates "It Came From New York," which celebrates
native NYC performers.
She frequently tells stories with The Moth,
(two-time GrandSlammer and MainStage), Speakeasy, and TalkingStick.
She
has written for the "Chicken Soup" series, and Mr.
Beller's
Neighborhood.
She is finishing a memoir of growing up in NYC, entitled
"Red Sheep: The Search For My Inner Latina.
"
http://www. ItCameFromNewYork. com
MARGOT LEITMAN co-hosts "Stripped Stories," a monthly sex-themed
storytelling show, which BUST Magazine called "Fresh, honest and
raunchy.
" She regularly appears as various characters on "Late Night With
Conan O' Brien," in addition to appearances on VH1's "Best Week Ever," and
ESPN's "Cheap Seats.
" Margot has been featured in Glamour magazine, and
the books "Fifty Dates Worse Than Yours" and "The Complete Idiot's Guide
to Jokes.
"
http://www. MargotLeitman. com
OPHIRA EISENBERG has appeared on Comedy Central's "Fresh Faces of Comedy"
and "Premium Blend," and VH-1's "All Access.
" She tours regularly with The
Moth, The Liar Show and "Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad.
" Her writing has
appeared in the anthologies, "I Killed: True Stories of the Road from
America's Top Comics," and "Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped and
Canceled" and Heeb Magazine's "Sex, Drugs and Gefilte Fish.
"
http://www. OphiraEisenberg. com
AND THEN
Immediately after the show, yer 'umble Man Of Hazardium takes off to take part once again in the Average White Guy Tour, this week averaging, whiting and touring this Wednesday night at The Wedge, Austintown, OH
www. atthewedge. com/
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First Of All...
Please don't tell me who won the election. I taped it and I've been running around too much to watch yet. Maybe tomorrow. Second of all... Here's the big countdown for the rest of November in regards to all things Hazard: This Monday, November 11 Stories At The Creek, LIC, NY This Thursday, November 13 Governors, Levittown, NY
I then take off for a few days of private fundraiser shows all around this great land.
THEN
I make my long awaited debut at 20-22 City Steam, Hartford, CT, November 20-22!
returning...
Monday, November 24 for Storytelling at LES Stories, NYC, NY
AND THEN
yer 'umble Man Of Hazardium takes part once again in the Average White Guy Tour at The Wedge, Austintown, OH
You'll probably see slowly shrinking versions of this bulletin for the rest of the month, my babies. It's just too much damn html code to throw away :)
Rock on, my babies... rock so very, very on...
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How big and scary do you like your comedy? Tuesday, October 28th!
Comedyland, Astoria, NY! 9pm! No Cover!
Wednesday, October 29th!
A special super show to raise money for our big rockabilly zombie movie, Drop Dead Twice!
8pm at the historic and picturesque Ritz Theater in Oaklyn, NJ!
Yours truly, yer 'umble Man of Hazardium, along with the equally historic and picturesque Mark Riccadonna, the historesque and picstoric Kevin Downey Jr and more! Tix are $15!
Thursday, October 30!
Governors Comedy Club
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STAYIN' ALIVE...
Just a quick hello, my babies!
Yer 'umble Man of Hazardium has been operating at no less than a breakneck pace, and I know you expect no less of me.
If your're in NYC this Wednesday, 10/8, please come on down to audience (is that a verb?) the first ever super birthday roast of the one and only Sharon Mama Spell at Otto's Shrunken Head on East 14th Street. 7-9pm, after party til whenever, no cover, cheap booze.
Thursday and Friday find us at HA! Comedy Theater (163 W. 46th in Times Square) for the Average White Guy Tour and The Head Blade Comedy tour respectively.
Then I hunker down to get ready to shoot Cold Calls, directed by Jack 'Daniels' Stanley next week.
Stay tuned, babies!
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Northwestern Exposure...Hi, my babies! Just checking with ya from the lovely land of Alberta! A big thanks to the gang and audiences at the The Laugh Shop in Edmonton last week! I'm rounding out my Albertazation with this Wednesday through Saturday at the Calgary location! Lots of shows! Plenty of time to get here from anywhere in North America if you leave right now! Stay tuned, babies!
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All Central NY Babies!Yer 'umble Man of Hazardium triumphantly returns to Wiseguys in Syracuse this week. Ignore the website in regards to who's there this week, I'm filling in last minute. What can I say... I'm a giver.
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THIS WEEK IN HAZARDIA...Greetings, my babies!
A short but action packed Achillian week for the Man of Hazardian!
I have Wednesday off, so I'm going to go watch my favorite new Wednesday extravaganza, Shrink at Otto's Shrunken Head on E. 14th Street. 7pm! Free admission!
THEN!
This Thursday!
Yer 'umble leader is honored to be asked to dust off his burlesque lounge singer persona of Doctor Love and to be a part of Hotsy Totsy Burlesque's many, many shows at the NYC Fringe Festival at SPIEGeLWORLD! They have been getting 4 out of 5 stars all month, so I hope I don't screw up their fine report card :)
THEN!
This Friday!
I've been asked to perform at the super smart excellent 10pm incarnation of The Ultimate Experts at The Producers Club. I've been looking forward to this and I'm flattered they asked me to take part this week!
Stay tuned, babies!
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Hi, my babies...
Tonight (Monday 8/4) I'm doing a great crazy new free form performance show (8 pm) at Tim Warner's Renaissance at Europa Club, Brooklyn, NY
THEN, I'm off to Boston this week to do guest spots at the Comedy Studio in Harvard Square (Tuesday at the Mystery Lounge Magic show, Wednesday at the regular Comedy Studio show). Then I'm off to the Lake Ontario Playhouse in Sackets Harbor, NY, with my pal Jon Lincoln, for this coming Thursday through Saturday. I just got done working as an extra on the series 'Damages' with Glenn Close, William Hurt and Mario Van Peebles. More about that later, babies! Stay tuned! |
BUSMAN'S HOLIDAY...I have the night off... and if you do, too... Let me suggest... What you can do... That's not only a little poem I just wrote for you, it's also wonderful advice! I'm going to being hanging out and watching NYC's newest funnest show, SHRINK at Otto's Shrunken Head on E. 14th Street tonight! Free admission and free snacks. You had me at free.
SHRINK @ Otto’s Shrunken Head
538 East 14th Street, NYC
(Between Avenues A & B
Takethe L to 1st Avenue
Hosted by Sharon "Mama" Spell and Shane "Shawa" Webb.
Featuring: Leah Dubie, Ben Kissel, Dan Goodman, Matt Ruby and special Guest Brian Kiley!
Free. 7-9 pm.
212-228-2240
LUPEC-researched cocktail: The Montmartre! Only $5!
SHRINK!
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Hey, my babies... Now, there's been a tad of confusion as to whether I'm hanging out at a joint or performing, so I apologize and I'll try to clear this upski rightski.
Tonight (Monday July 14th), I'll be hanging out (not performing there until August 4th) at Tim Warner's Renaissance 8PM-10PM EUROPA 98 Meserole Ave., (corner of Manhattan Ave.) Brooklyn, NY to catch Steph Sabelli, Mike Drucker, Mark Normand, Josh Homer, Rob Cantrell and the music of The Trachtenburg Family (no cover).
Tuesday (July 15th) I return to perform at the wonderful Comedyland (along with Sharon 'Mama' Spell, R.G. Daniels and more) at the Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden in Astoria, Queens NY 29-19 24th Avenue 9 pm (free admission)
Wednesday (July 16th) I'll be helping out with tech (not performing) at Shrink! at Otto's Shrunken Head 538 East 14th Street New York City , NY 10009 7pm (Free!) and watching Colin Dempsey, Carolyn Castiglia, Jamie Lee, Diana Saez, Jackie Monahan, Ben Lerman. Hosted by Shane Webb and Sharon 'Mama' Spell.
Thursday I'll be performing at Clubhouse at The Telephone Bar (free!).
Friday and Saturday I'm back (performing) at Wisecrackers in Scranton, PA (see ya there!).
Thanks my Special McSpecials,
Yer 'umble Man of Hazardium
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Nocturnal PopcornTonight I'll be hanging out at the late night screening of my pal Bob Levis' '60s hippie political romp, GOLD, at the Two Boots Pioneer Theater way down in the East Village. This film has been under wraps and squashed for decades, but it's finally making the rounds. Note of special interest: UCB Founder Del Close plays the protagonist. See ya at the movin' pictures, my babies!
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SPAM AND EGGSHello, my babies!
This Wednesday, July 2nd, launches a brand new weekly show, SHRINK, at the historic and picturesque Otto's Shrunken Head on East 14th Street!
Created and hosted by the equally historic and picturesque Sharon 'Mama' Spell and Shane Webb! How's that!
This week, I am honored to be performing at their maiden voyage into craziness, along with Pat O’Shea, Vicki Ferentinos, Carla Rhodes, Erin Judge and Rob Gorden!
I'm so excited, I might just head on down there now so that I'm not late.
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THIS IS THE WEEK THAT IS...Hey, babies!
It's another whirlwind tour for yer 'umble Man of Hazardium, and I know you expect no less.
Wednesday 6/25
The Comedy Studio, Cambridge, MA
Thursday 6/26
Private Show, Undisclosed Location Somewhere
Friday and Saturday 6/27-28
The Comedy Lounge, Hyannis, MA
BTW!!!
A big belated thanks to all who made it another sold out music show at Stinky Johnson's Sunday night!
As y'all who attended noticed, my band, Doo Doo Head, is proudly featuring a brand new horn section comprised of Max 'Ten Toes' Tabaznik on sax, the totally radiant Cecilia Centipede on trumpet and french horn and Peter Masterson Jr. on trombone.
As many also know, Ronka Kadonka is doing great and just too darn busy to be one of our opening bands anymore, so Doo Doo Head and our trusty and talented colleagues, The Pompous Assholes are taking on the load!
Stay tuned babies!
Puppies for everybody!
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Attention All Hartfordian Earth Babies...See ya tonight at Trinity On Main! Be there or be rhomboid!
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Hello, My Babies! For those of you without cable, FuelTv or electricity*, you can now catch Season 2 of American Misfits
here
and you can finally see what the frak is going on here.
Enjoy! I'm off to the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase in Michigan for the weekend. See ya around, babies! Stay tuned!
*if you don't have electricity, you're probably reading this via shrapnel in your head. That's cool.
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Hi, my babies! How have you been! Yer 'umble leader has been busier than... well, busier than a cliche in a stereotype :) A big thank you to the gang at the Portland Comedy Connection for a great time last week, along with some of the local comedians who showed up to support.... AND cohorts Dan Boulger and Dennis Hunt. I spent the middle of the week wrapping up principle shooting of 'Alibi'. Last years 'The Tourist' is still in post-production (director Kelly Knudson is painstakingly crafting a realistic 1970's looking film), but stills and screen captures have been promised soon! I'll show 'em as soon as I get 'em, babies! This past Saturday was spent shooting more commentary (me commenting) for the upcoming documentary about the cinema classic 'A Christmas Story'. The week ahead, you ask? I answer! This Monday you will find the Man of Hazardium at "Comedy at the Swick" 8:30 p.m., Sunswick Bar & Grill 35th Ave. & 35th St. Astoria, NYC. Take the N to 36th Ave. or the R/V to Steinway St. Tuesday brings me back to the Astoria Comedy Club at the Mezzo Restaurant in (duh!) Astoria, Queens, NYC Friday, El Hazardo takes off to do a private show in State College, PA! And, last but not least, I will be at this Saturday's 'If You Build it' show at the Karma Lounge 8-10 p.m. 51 1st Avenue (Bet. 3rd and 4th Street) East Village, NYC
Stay tuned!
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EYES+BEHOLDERS=?
Just got back from Ft. Lauderdale, my babies! barely enough time to catch a ray or two, but a good time was had by all as I did one of my patented in/out search and destroy show schedules with my pal, Jimmy Dunn. These were all benefit shows for many good causes. That's all I know. Really.
A big thanks to Paul Kiley for having us back and for all his hospitality!
The other big news, you ask? You didn't ask?
I'll tell you anyway. I'm a giver.
So very proud to report that I, yer 'umble leader, am now offically signed with UGLYny Modeling Agency! That's right, my babies, I am now too sexy for all my shirts! Move over Fabio! Bring on the rollercoaster and the duck in the nose!
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TWO TALES... TWO CITIES...TONIGHT!
Story Telling @ Coraline Cafe 480 62nd Street (@ 5th Ave), Brooklyn, NY Take the R or N to 59th Street in Brooklyn and walk 3 blocks. Tickets $5 (Includes first drink!) Monday, April 7th - 8 PM Hosted by: Cyndi Freeman Featuring: Michele Carlo, Jess Delfino,
DJ Hazard, Brad Lawrence & Jay Chase
WEDNESDAY!
STRIPPED STORIES the hit NYC sex-themed storytelling show brought to you
by Giulia Rozzi *(MTV, VH1.com, Mortified ) and Margot Leitman (Spike
TV, Vh1, Conan O'Brien) is coming to Boston! Playing to sold out crowds
since it began it January 2007, Stripped Stories features comedians,
musicians and guests revealing hysterically honest stories about their sex
lives. Giulia and Margot will also each reveal their own juicy
storiesamidst some games, audience interviews and hookups...hopefully.
Wednesday April 9th at 8pm
Improv Boston Theatre: 40 Prospect St., Central Square, Cambridge
Tickets: $15 / $10 students and seniors
Get tickets by calling 617-576-1253 or visit
http://www.improvboston.com
With stories from DJ Hazard (Blackballed), Sara Faith Alterman (My 15
Minutes) and music by Jessica Delfino (HBO Comedy Festival)
More info at http://www.strippedstories.com
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Something For EverybodyHi. My babies!!!
A quick shout from the crazy business we call show :)
Awesome times aplenty at last week’s Stripped Stories at Comix! I have been invited to do a special Stripped Stories in Boston next month... more on that later!
Thanks to everybody at Bananas in Poughkeepsie this past weekend!
Thanks to my buddies Kimberlie and Erica for a kick ass St. Patrick’s Day party!
The upcoming week or two brings us back to the Astoria Comedy Club on Tuesday, March 25th, if you are in the area...
or...
All my Greater Boston Babies! Please join me and my very funny buddy, Mark Riccadonna, at my annual special fundraiser show for the New England Coalition for Cancer Survivors at F1 in Braintree on March 29th!
Stuck on the Jersey Shore? No problem...
I’ll be returning to The Borgata in Atlantic City this March 31st through April 6th!!!
So, there. I need a nap. I’m exhausted just typing all this :)
Stay tuned, my babies... and rock so very, very on.
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Checking In, My Babies...
Wow... I am back from my humble contribution to Louis CK's HBO concert taping this past weekend in Boston. Louie was fantastic and it's going to look great! This was all Louie's baby, but I want to thank Michelle, Shannon and Keisha from Arts and Industry for having so much coolness to even make me feel so very welcome and cared for!
I immediately returned to NYC for to perform in the Sunday night premiere of Varsity at the Slipper Room, which was a great, great time!
The majority of this week is dedicated to attending and supporting, my babies...
Last night I attended the screening of my pal Bob Levis' 60's political romp, GOLD, which has been under wraps for 40 years! It's now available on DVD, so check it out!
Tonight, I'll be watching many of my very talented colleagues at Speakeasy Storytelling at the Cornelia Street Cafe and tomorrow night I'll be in a seat for my buddy Brian Longwell's unveiling of his new one man show (along with his fellow 1 person show classmates)... see message below from Brian:
I've been dating in NY for just over 2 years now. And I've been keeping notes.
I'm workshopping a new show with the title in the above subject line.
I'll be doing a 20 minute version as part of a final class of Matt Hoverman's solo workshop.
It's funny. Even the sad parts. And I use no overhead projector.
Please comeon' by. I'll buy you a drink after. - Brian
Here's more info: Lisa Dominique, Ellen Lindsey, Brian Longwell, Nancy Noto & Marjorie Suvalle debut brand new solo shows on
Wednesday, March 5th at 7pm
at
Where Eagles Dare "Blackbird" Studio
347 West 36th Street (bet. 8th & 9th aves)
13th floor Dangerous dinners, Southern belles fleeing from tornadoes, the perils of poopery, surviving the Jonestown massacre... and the scariest scenario of all - NYC on-line dating. This one will have you quaking in your boots (with laughter!) FREE! Stay tuned, babies!!!
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Happy Thursday, My Babies...First of all, thanks to everybody who packed The Comedy Studio last Friday and Saturday for two
great shows. Thanks to Rick for putting it together and to Jessica for doing a great job at the control board. And a big thanks to my pal Adam Woodworth (Bourbon) for taping the whole thing for future
visual and audio considerations. I saw some of the clips and it looks GREAT! I'll be posting some stills sometime soon! I wanted to get the following out asap as soon as I knew it was a super green go... Next Friday and Saturday (February 29th and March 1st), I'll be at
Boston's Berklee Performance Center (1 show Friday, 2 shows Saturday)! Then I'll give my old pal Louis CK a break and let him do some time. That's the story I'm sticking to.
Stay tuned, babies... and rock so very, very on...
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The Asphalt Says, "Ouch"...Because I'm hitting the road!Ha! You can use that if you want, my babies! Yer 'umble leader returns to The Comedy Studio, in Harvard Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts for 2 full blown concerts sets this Friday and Saturday! A limited supply of "El Hazardo Rides Again" will be on sale after both shows... PLUS the shows will be recorded for the next Man of Hazardium cd! Be there or be rhomboid, my babies!
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Sunday Spam And EggsWe set our sites on a very exciting week at hand!
Yer 'umble leader returns to The Comedy Studio, in Harvard Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts for 2 full blown concerts sets this Friday and Saturday!
A limited supply of "El Hazardo Rides Again" will be on sale after both shows... PLUS the shows will be recorded for the next Man of Hazardium cd!
Be there or be rhomboid, my babies!
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ANOTHER quick hello, my babies! I've moved the Hazard Institute to yet another UDL here in the apple, so I've been busy unpacking and setting up and all that stuff! Looking forward to a triumphant return to The Brokerage this Friday and Saturday, with my very funny pal, Mark Riccadonna. Stay tuned, babies! |
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QH! HNY!
A quick hello and a happy, happy new year, my babies!
This first month of 2008 will take yer 'umble leader to Alaska, Pennsylvania, Brooklyn and Long Island!
That's at least 4 of the 5 basic food groups right there!
Stay tuned, babies!
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Bundlin' Up...Hello, my babies! Greetings from Winnipeg, Manitoba, where the record breaking December low temps are only surpassed by the groovieness of the fine 'peggers who've been coming to see yer 'umble leader! American Misfits is well nestled into second season reruns, but I have some lovely pics from the show for you over on my MySpace space (I love saying that) okay? Pics include the Molasses Monster episode, Frankenstein and the big secret Andy Dick episode (which is no longer a secret, I guess)... along with show creators Laban and Ted (who play Laban and Ted)
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This Is The Week That Is...I'm back from the Riviera in Las Vegas and my crazy New England mini tour of Hyannis and Clinton, Massachusetts, my babies! Just gettin' the ole ducks in a row before: *attending (just supporting) Andy Christie's big event Liar Show at Comix this Thursday at 8 pm * Doing guitar (yes, yer 'umble leader said GUITAR) sets at both shows this Friday at Dangerfields *and then taking off for a 2 week return to Rumors Comedy Club in Winnipeg! I know, I know, my babies... What you really care about is the answers to last weeks Super Hazard Earth Hello Quiz! The winners have already been contacted and have all asked to remaain anonymous, so that nobody hits them over the head and takes the great prizes they got. However... (drum roll please) The answers are: a) "...ping pong balls? I thought you said..." b) Light amplification by stimulated emmission of radiation c) A 180 lb turkey would not take 36 hours to cook. A 180 lb turkey would probably kill you and eat you raw. d) landdownunderdogstylenetworki'mmadashell
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The Past Through The FutureHi, Super Babies!
What can I say?
It’s hard to hit a moving target?
A rolling stone gathers no moss?
You can put your boots in the oven, but that don’ make them biscuits?*
Let’s try to make some sense out of the last hyper drive continuum:
TWO Saturdays ago was another fantastic show at the Forbidden Kiss Erotica Series, Stage Left Studios.
That got me all hedonistic enough for a week-long triumphant return to The Borgata in Atlantic City!
I got back long enough to wash some socks before taking part in a Monday night edition of
The Liar Show.
Maybe it was good that by then I was running on empty and getting whacky, ‘cause last night’s return to Stinky Johnson’s with my band, Doo Doo Head, was beyond crazy cool!
A super shout out to our partner bands in crime, Ronka Kadonka and The Pompous Asses! Job well done, boys and girls!
Ronka has a new CD out, All Dogs Are Trucks! If you know them and love them like we do, you know it’s not available in stores or on iTunes or nothing.... ya gotta come to the next show and get one.
And, yes, it’s not an urban legend...
Shouldn’t that be No, it’s not an urban legend?
Every 10th Ronka CD or so has a prize inside, just like Crackerjacks.
A day to catch my breath, then I’m off to do Bar 4 in Brooklyn tomorrow (Thursday) night and I’m very honored to be asked to be the special guest to close out the Comedy Class graduation show at Comix this Friday!
All this before I take off this Monday for a week at the Riviera Comedy Club in Las Vegas.
Look at it this way... at least I’m working up an appetite for Turkey Day!
Hey! I’m a couple of days early, but a Happa Babba shout to my buddy Jennifer who puts out (good lord, I bet she’s hoping there’s more after that phrase) Felt Up, one of funniest and informative show biz gossip columns in the world. It’s one of my few guilty pleasures and it should be yours, too, my babies! Reading is fundamental!
Stay tuned, my babies... stay so very, very tuned!
*Oh... quote is by Officer Andy Renko, Hill Street Blues :)
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The Past, The Present and the Dooture...Last week was spent doing all night shoots for the next (yet) un-named film.
This week, my babies, I'll be at the Borgata in Atlantic City! Tonight thru Sunday, except for Saturday... but it's cool, we're being paid not to work that night.
Next week brings us to Bar 4 in Brooklyn, a special guest spot at Comix and put on yer dancing pants, babies...
My band, Doo Doo Head, once again returns to Stinky Johnson's! Our favorite opening band, Ronko Kadonko, is now our favorite middle band!
Please come down and welcome our new opening band, The Pompous Asses!
Rock on, babies, rock so very, very on.
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lewis and lizz and ed and me...Just a quick shout and recap of my weekend, my babies... I have to say that the highlight of this year (for me, anyway) took place this past Friday when I got to reunite with two old pals, Lewis Black and Lizz Winstead, and a new friend, Ed Byrne, at the Cutler Majestic Theater in Boston for Lewis' annual Boston Comedy Festival Gala. You know what made it so special? It's been decades since I've seen four talented comrades sit in the wings and actually enjoy each other's sets. It was that special place where there's two shows going on... one for the great crowd that attended and the side glances and winks to your pals offstage.
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I'm back from Scranton... going quickie McQuick to do the BCF show with Lewis Black in Boston, then I'll be back for a while. Until I go someplace else. So there :)
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From Touks To Tacos To TalksI'm back from the wunnerful Great White North (although it was more Autumnal, actually) and about to head off to see everybody at the The Laff Spot in Houston!
Light a candle and pray with the Sisters that I'm leaving myself enough clean underwear here at home when I return on Monday, as I will be pretty much dropping off my luggage in heading down to be a Special Guest Storyteller at the inimitable (I think that means tall) Margot Leitman's Storytelling Class at Comix.
I hope I don't suck, because the next night I'm doing Speakeasy Storytelling at Cornelia Street Cafe with Margot (along with her equally fantastic colleague, Giulia Rozzi, the incredible Cyndi Freeman and more!). Okay? Okay.
The only other thing is that next Thursday's (probably) award winning Liar Show (with yours truly) at the Time Out New York Lounge has been postponed for now.
So, until you hear different from me, come see me everywhere else.
I mean everywhere.
Except when I'm on the toitee...
Well...
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OPPOSITE OF A DOWN FIG?An up date! Ha! You can use that if you want. I'm not sure if a date is the true opposite of a fig in a dichotometric plane. Maybe that plastic tip on your shoe lace... or maybe that feeling you get when you see a tree limb falling on that bison burger you just bought in South Dakota at a diner and walked over to a nice picnic table overlooking the Bad Lands. Anyway... Just a quick note from yer 'umble leader. I am winding down a GREAT 2 week tour in Calgary and Edmonton. Thanks to all who came out! I'm heading back to the Hazard Institute very late/very early tonight/tomorrow... getting some ducks in a row (bring out yer ducks) and then taking off to see everybody at the Laff Spot in good ole Houston! Stayed tuned, babies!
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Stretching Time And Space (Again) I'm shooting another film, my babies... sorry for being out of touch. I will be taking time, however, to partake in another one of Ms. Cyndi Freeman's Fantabulous Storytelling Shows this Monday night: Story Telling @ Coraline Cafe Monday - Sept. 10th - 8 PM 480 62nd Street (@ 5th Ave), Brooklyn, NY
Take the R or N to 59th Street and walk 3 blocks
Tickets $5 (Includes first drink!)
Hosted by: Cyndi Freeman
Featuring: Peter Lubell, Kimmi Auerbach, DJ Hazard, Ryan Britt
Then one more night of shooting... all night Tuesday... which is good, because very early (like 2 am) on Thursday, I'm taking off for ten fun filled days with
the Alberta Sisters, Callie and Edie.
Okay, in truth, it's Calgary and Edmonton, Alberta... but, it will be as much fun as you can have with John Belushi's pants on.
I will be joined on this tour by the one and only Vince Averill, the veritable King of E. 14th Street!
Stay tuned and get bail money ready, my babies!
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BLOGQUIREMENTS
I don't mean you, my babies! I love you very, very much.
I just have to post here every now and then, else the blog part of this immense structure will think I shed my mortal coil and 'twill cancel my lovely free membership.
There must be a metaphor for life in that somewhere.
Let's see... getting ready for a movie shoot this weekend (more on that later) , then off to Canada to see everybody in Calgary and Edmonton.
I mean everybody.
So please be lined up in an orderly fashion when I get to the airport, okay?
Okay.
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Just A Click Away!Yes, my superbabies... Yer 'umble leader has been busier than a box of band aids at the annual Hemophilia Dart Tourney Fundraiser, but I have managed to roll out some new ways for you to get some Man of Hazardium music into your life! here!
Enjoy, babies and stay tuned!
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JCI
Just checking in, superbabies!
There is no down time at the Institute...
Just calm before storms.
I'm busily rehearsing for my next gangster short.
Me? Gangster? Go fig!
Stay tuned, babies!
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That Magical Week That Turns From Julius To Augustus Is Upon Us!A shout out to the tribes at the Manhattan Comedy Collective! Thanks for having me as a guest performer Friday. You guys were great and everybody else should go see what they're doing there, okay? Okay. All sensors on forward, superbabies! Wednesday brings us back to Coleman's Irish Pub in Oswego, NY... before heading even further North for another three night run at the Lake Ontario Playhouse with my funny buddy, Betsy Wise! Do you know that we're already into the 5th episode of American Misfits on Fuel TV?
Here's the trailers from the shows so far, okay? Just for you, because I love you so very, very much:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Most of August will be dedicated to rehearsing for a new short film! Stay tuned and Nanocatted, babies!
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There's a great write-up on "Bourbon", and how we beat out Gandolfini, Gossett Jr, and Mantegna! Goodness gracious! And there's a photo of the funky scepter award! :) here!
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Did You Feel A Tingle In The Force?That's right my babies.... over the weekend, at some point (I wasn't there) Bourbon won BEST SHORT FILM at the Plymouth Indie Film Fest!
Congrats to Directo Mundo Adam Woodworth, Co-Writerablo Keith Hedger, Co-Actoritos Scott Winters, Nathaniel Sylva, Vic Clay, and our crew of thousands, including head crew person Allison 'Cloudfoot' Keir.
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Nanocats! Ho!
This week is yet again another one of my Nutzo Kadutzo Tours that include a full blown concert set at
The Comedy Studio, in Cambridge, MA as well as another return to the Comedy Connection in Portland, Maine!
That's 6 shows, babies!
As always, the first one who makes it to all 6 shows gets a free IPod Nanocat!
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Hey, my babies!Having a great time in San Antonio! Shouts out to my talented partners in crime, Bill Russ and Jay LaFarr, and the the great crew and audiences at the River Center Comedy Club! Just a reminder that I am indeed scooting right back to NYCfor a Monday (7/9) night at The Liar Show...
A Tuesday night (10:30 show) at Ms. Cyndi Freeman's Hotsy Totsy Burlesque on Tuesday, July 10th at the Green Room at 45 Bleeker Street
This gets us all a tingly for getting on board with Greg Jonhson (the Mayor of E. 11th Street) and his Friday (7/13) night long-running bash at Rififi, E. 11th between 1st and 2nd (look for Trash on the marquee)
and the cherry on the cake will be when Dr. Love visits the Forbidden Kiss Erotica Series at Stage Left Studio(7/14)
Have a great 7/07/07, superbabies!
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Gotta Have A Plan...Hi, my babies... Gonna be a busy 2 weeks, so don't say I didn't warn you: This Tuesday night I'm at Dangerfieldsbefore taking off for a full 4th of July Fantabulathon Week at River Center Comedy Club in good old San Antonio, Texas. Then scooting right back for a Monday (7/9) night at The Liar Show... A Tuesday night (7/10 10:30) return as Dr. Love on Ms. Cyndi Freeman's Hotsy Totsy Burlesque Tuesday, July 10th at the Green Room at 45 Bleeker StreetThis gets us all a tingly for getting on board with Greg Jonhson (the Mayor of E. 11th Street) and his Friday (7/13) night long-running bash at Rififi, E. 11th between 1st and 2nd (look for Trash on the marquee) and the cherry on the cake will be when Dr. Love visits the Forbidden Kiss Erotica Series at Stage Left Studio (7/14) If you make it to all six venues? Get your choice of a free cat or a free baby!
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48 DD
It has been again brought to my attention that my efforts are showing visual fruit and that I am starting to look leaner and meaner these days.
I thought it was time to once more share my secret with some of you newer superbabies out there.
Along with the many trips to the gym, I have to say that most of the success is due to a wonderful diet that I just happened to blindly stumble upon.
I simply call it the 48 Donut Diet.
Really.
I don’t know how or why this works, but works it does... and I’ve been shedding 5 to 10 pounds a week. You have to eat all 48 donuts... everyday. No more. No less. If you eat 49 or 47.... BAM! You explode like you’ve eaten 49 or 47 donuts.
But FORTY EIGHT FREAKIN’ DONUTS.
And it has to be REAL donuts! Dunkin Donuts! Krispy Kreme! That cart on the corner! No fake donuts... no spelt with carob and fruit sweetening... the results would be... well, I don't want to say while we're eating.
I don’t know what this does on a biochemical level, but it’s amazing.
Oh, many of you read this and are thinking you’ve been saved and brought to donut heaven. The Nirvana of guiltless donut consumption every day forever and ever is your legacy, you say?
Well, let me tell you, Buster... and Ms. Buster over there.... it’s work.
Sure, that first dozen is fun. You’re Homer Simpson and you’re on a mission. But those second 12 angry men, they start to drag you down. And that third dozen... arrrrgh.... lead weights weighed down by... I don’t know, something heavier than lead. Uranium?
Then...
Those last twelve donuts.
Oh god, how they hurt. They literally hurt. The pain. The pain.
But it’s worth it!
Oh, and one other thing...
For some other inexplicable reason, possibly some molecular synergy between ptyalin and HCL, all 48 donuts have to be consumed in under sixty seconds. Enjoy!
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Five Minutes, Mr. Hazard....I don't ask questions. I don't wanna sleep with the fishes.
But, for some reason, I've been asked to once again perform in Ms. Cyndi Freeman's Hotsy Totsy Burlesque this Tuesday, June 12th.
Be there-er or be square-er than me!
The Green Room at 45 Bleeker Street
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The next Forbidden Kiss will be this Saturday, June 9, at 8 pm, at Stage Left Studio, 438 W. 37th Street, 5A, NYC!
The June 9 Forbidden Kiss show will feature the following performers:
Cheryl King - will host the show and open the evening's entertainment with a reading from a classic piece of erotic literature
Katie Northlich will appear as Dr. Julia Nahem, answering sex questions from the audience
Cheryl King & Benny Rietveld will present another in their series - "Laid Back" - erotic spoken word and scenes
Alithea Howes will present a new work
Ruby Marez will present a comic piece
Taren Sterry will present a comic sketch, as Delrita Doyle
The Bitter Poet will present his combination of poetry and angst.
Marlene NIchols with an erotic monologue
Annette Guarrasi with an erotic monologue
DJ Hazard with a new erotic monologue
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Confusion Is The Link Between Harmony And Dischord...Stop the presses! What I meant to say is that July 1st is the premiere of the second season of American Misfits! Tomorrow is National Yo Yo Day. Arrrgh! I always get those two dates mixed up. But, as I said, in the mean time you can click on the American Misfits hyperlink above to go to the show's MySpace! Look over at Season 2 Episode 014... and watch the slide show! The show is so crammed with craziness that I'm just a mere fraction of the action, but watch for me (as the 'Boss' of the show) popping up for a second. Then click that slideshow and get taken to a trailer for the episode! Look again! I'm in there TWICE, babies! The second time is harder, because I have transformed into an Evil Molasses Monster. Why did I transform into an Evil Molasses Monster? I can say no more.
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The 7th Sign!The second season of American Misfits premieres tomorrow on the Fuel TV Network!
If you don't have Fuel TV, that's okay, neither do I.
I, however, will soon have copies of the show.
So, unless you want to go back in time and become a cast member and therefore get copies of the show, I'd say get Fuel TV or at least go over your friend's house and watch the show.
In the mean time, click on the American Misfits hyperlink above to go to the show's MySpace!
Look over at Season 2 Episode 014... and watch the slide show! The show is so crammed with craziness that I'm just a mere fraction of the action, but watch for me (as the 'Boss' of the show) popping up for a second.
Then click that slideshow and get taken to a trailer for the episode! Look again! I'm in there TWICE, babies! The second time is harder, because I have transformed into an Evil Molasses Monster.
Why did I transform into an Evil Molasses Monster?
I can so no more.
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There's A Story Here... Once again, Cyndi Freeman, the Bruce Springsteen of show biz (huh?) puts on another hat and runs her own storytelling series, starting this Monday, 8 pm, at the Coraline Cafe in Brooklyn! Come support! Line up includes Andy Christie, the aforementioned Cyndi, Brian Longwell, Ryan Britt and yer 'umble Leader to boot! aaaaaand I might have to fly to LA mid-week to do some follow up stuff for American Misfits, but I will be back in time to return to Stage Left Studio for another round of Forbidden Kiss Erotica Series.
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The Shape Of Things To Come...Happy Memorial Weekend, superbabies!
A big shout out to Miss Cherry Pitz (bka Cyndi Freeman) for having me as a guest performer at my first ever Burlesque Revue!
This coming week brings the Man of Hazardium to Dangerfields on Monday, The Tank on Wednesday, my return to Rififi this Friday and my first Liar Show on Saturday!
A nice, well rounded week for your Humble Leader.
Hope to see you there and stay tuned, babies!
ps! I just streamlined the links to the big Online Hazard Gift Shop! Just in time for Father's Day!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
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Stories! Travel! Adventure!We got it all this weekend, my very special superbabies! As I write, I am in the middle of another great storytelling run at Stage Left Studio! Tonight (Saturday) I return to Stage Left to partake in Forbidden Kiss, the long running erotica series! Mercy me! Ah do declare! Then Sunday is dedicated to one more of my famous guerilla trips to Boston. I'll be Lucky Star Bus-ing my way to the Hub, having a nice lunch with m'mum for her big day, bopping down to Harvard Square for a show at The Comedy Studio before I head back to The Apple on the aforementioned steed of luck and celestial bodies. A quick shout out and thank you to everybody at The Brokerage Comedy Club... great place! Great crew! Great shows! Support comedy and definitely support such nice places that treat comedians so nicely, okay? Okay. That's all for now, babies... Stay tuned!
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Just A Quickie, My BabiesI'm getting too many requests to file a report, so here we go! thanks to everyone at Chilkoot Charlie's in Anchorage, Alaska! A good time was had by all! April showers bring May flowers, but they also bring a potpourri of events to yer 'umble Leader's schedule! Lotsa of firsties blooming in the Gadda Da Vidda!
This Tuesday is my debut at Speakeasy Storytelling at Cornelia Street Cafe, I'm stopping by John Femia's Thursday midnight show (or does that make it Friday morning?) at The Laugh Lounge and the week rounds out with a first time weekend at The Brokerage, in Bellmore, NY (that's Long Island).
Not everything is new... I get to return to join my very talented pals at Drink@Work next week. However, since my last D@W show, they've moved to Rififi, so it's kind of new. But I've played Rififi before, so it ain't new at the same time. Wow. Too cosmic for me right now. You figure it out and get back to me, okay? Okay.
On May 12th, I return for more Storytelling at Stage Left Studio! This show is called Forbidden Kiss, their highly acclaimed erotic performance series!
On Tuesday, May 22, I'm performing at a new Burlesque show, run by my uber-talented friend, Ms.Cyndi Freeman... me in a burlesque show? I dunno. I just say yes to things.
And I get to join some of my other talented buddies, Benari Poulten and James Paterson at their May 30th show at The Tank!
How's that, my babies! Stay tuned!
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Mo'Ink, Babies!Super awesome interview with yer 'umble Leader by Mr. Ben Kharakh in today's Gothamist! Check it out! Coolsville!
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Callin' out around the world...Are you ready for a brand new treat? Summer's (almost) here and the time is right for...
Saying, "Hey, Super Babies, I missed you!"
Okay, I just got word that I can let the cat out of the bag. Just in time, since the rumors were abounding about my secret mission to Los Angeles
Yer 'umble Leader is pleased (and just as surprised) to announced that he is the newest cast member of American Misfits on Fuel TV.
Hosts/Creators/Directors Laban Pheidias and Ted Newsome interperse their fast-paced skateboarding show with lots of comedy and... even more action in the comedy, no less.
The show begins, ends and wraps around segments in the 'office' of the show, where Laban and Ted have to deal with the 'boss' of the show... that's me!
They've been shooting season 2 of the skateboard/guest athlete stuff since last Autumn, all around North America. Then we shot all 13 episodes of the 'office' stuff in one week! Yowsa! Lotsa of surprises and fun that I have to keep under wraps right now. Season 2 begins in June, I believe, so start making popcorn.
I just also wanted to go on record shouting out to an AMAZING crew that worked on the show with Laban, Ted and yers truly. More super talented, professional and nicer artistes in their respective expertise can not be found.
I'll shoot up some pics when I get them, babies, okay? Okay!
More fun stuff happening next week, here in the groovy pomme, but first a mission of comedy love up to Lake Ontario Playhouse, with my very funny buddy, Moody McCarthy!
Stay tuned, babies!
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Turn Your Head And Cough
Just a quick check up, my babies...just to let ya know I'm fine and dandy and I hope you are twice as fine and three times dandier.
With the exception of a Wednesday 6pm show for fighting Epilepsy:
Where: PS 222, 86-15 37th Avenue, Jackson Heights. From Grand Central,
take the 7 Local Train to 90th Street. Head North one block, then turn
left and walk three blocks. You'll see a big Dora the Explorer over the
door of the school.
And this Friday and Saturday at Ray's Lounge in Brooklyn...
I am busily toiling away, reading 81 pages of scripts and taking off for LA this Monday for a really super duper project.
I'll tell you when I get back, okay? I just don't wanna brag until I know how it turned out.
Stay tuned!!!
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PRESENT, FUTURE AND FUTURE FUTURE...First of all, greetings from Winnipeg, Manitoba, my babies... the gateway to the prairies and the snowy home of some of the best crowds in the world. Last night was the big beachhead 1st show and a good time was had by all. Next: Heads up, Boston area superbabies! My gangster film, Bourbon, is screening this Sunday at the Ruff Cutz Film Festival, at the Holiday Inn in Brookline. It was directed by Adam Woodworth and also stars Scott Winters, Nathaniel Silva and Vic Clay. It's slated 1st in the 4:25pm block, so plan your travels accordingly. Also, don't get shut out, as I hear it's playing in a very tiny micro theater venue.! This will be good practice as, in the future, all movie theaters will be this size when we all live on the Moon.
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I Don't Work At The Post Office...But this has to be adddressed (ha! I just made that up... you can use it, too, if you want)... Anyway... I just wanted to give a big hello to Beat Circus, who, once again, put on an amazing show down at Tonic the other night. One of their many amazing aspects is their ever-evolving organic nature. This time, Ringmaster Brian Carpenter, Uber-Tuba (tubist?) man Ron Caswell and Accordion Master Alec K. Redfern were the only original members I recognized. Fret not, my babies... they were joined with yet another fantastic complement of artists and a surreal, passionate, macabre and great time was had by all. I got to chat briefly with Jamie Masefield, who was sitting in on Banjo. He later told me this was his first gig with B.C., much to my surprise. Check out his other band/site here! I was told to definitely be there in time for the opening set... and, what can I say, babies... Special guest was a fella by the name of Sxip Shirey, and his absolute love of sound and composition was everything I had heard about him and several bags of chips, to boot. He was accompanied by Adam Matta for a good part of the set. Adam is a masterful human beat box/vocal percussion artist and a solo artist in his own right. Man, I either have to stop going to these kind of shows and being shamed by such unabashed celebrations of pure art, or I better find what's really cooking around at the bottom of my soul and write/compose it out of me. I humbly apologize that I had to leave after Beat Circus. I had some 'extreme' activities to attend to the next morn. I have invented several extreme activites. Maybe one of my muse/soul mandates that I've been ignoring is to write a manual on such endeavors. I wanted to get a shout and a half out in appreciation for the very talented people who were gathered Tuesday, dearly beloved, before I took off on another megatravel zig zag. Stay tuned and stay warm, babies.
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Snow’s Coming, BabiesGetting ready to dig in for the storm? No way, aybay! I’ve been slowly breaking into the NYC storytelling scene. Last night, I attended another great Liar Show. Tonight, I’m heading out to catch my uber-talented pals, Beat Circus down at Tonic. Tomorrow, believe it or not, your Humble Leader is attending his High School (of Art and Design) Alumni Association. What a good citizen I am :) Thursday, I’m taking Moofa and Longwell to Mars 2112 for Moofa’s Birthday (Happy Birthday, Moofa!) Friday and Saturday brings us to Wise Cracker's in Wilkes-Barre, PA and we round out the ole w/e Sunday at Ray’s Comedy Joint in Brookyn Next week... Winnipeg, babies!
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Thursday, 1/25!Gonna be a hot time in the ole town, babies. Another Masters Show at Gotham!
Not only will I be joined by the legendary Cory Kahaney, the magnificent Barry Weintraub and the Master of Masters Jim Mendrinos...
But the whole shibang is gonna be shot for Comedynet.com
So, there! Be there or be rhomboid, my babies!
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HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY...
Some things coming up in the next couple of weeks... stay tuned!
I just wanted to let you know that I still know how to type, okay? Okay.
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I'm Back, My Babies
Arrrgh... I don't have my land legs yet. I think I left them in my other pants.
Yes, I have two pairs of pants. Just in case.
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Greetings From...Actually, I don't know exactly where I am today... I'm on a ship somewhere in the Caribbean. I stopped checking... Oh look, there's Captain Jack Sparrow. Just wanted to wish all my Super Babies a Great HanaChrisKwanzTice, and a Happy 365.25/1 Solar Cycle.* *unless you're Mayan... I didn't do the math... something to do with 16... but Happy Six More Years and Three days to you, too.
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I'm Out To Sea, My Babies!
I'll try to bring you back something nice from Davy Jones' Locker... or at least his Coffee Table.
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I Read The News Today (Oh Boy)...and it's either the guys she picks or it's her. I gotta know, Pamela Anderson. So, if you or anybody you know reads this, I am officially offering to make you my bride and make an honest woman out you... until one of us comes to our senses.
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But Who's Counting?
10 more days and I'm out to sea for a month!
Stow away with me, babies! Hide in my luggage!
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OMG! INK!One of the nicest interview/articles about your Humble Leader just came out! Scribe Ken Carlson has placed me in some very fine company, as well. Check it out here, babies!
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Crazy Whacky Beat And It Keepsa Goin’ On Huh!
Greetings, Superbabies! Just checking in while I can so that you don’t worry about me t | | |
